Did Racism and Hate Really Win the Election?

Remember how the internet went crazy changing profile pictures to French flags after... I don't remember, I think something happened in France? And remember all of those hashtags of support when those school girls from somewhere had something bad happen to them? Well, apparently it's time to jump on the newest bandwagon of slacktivism.

In the wake of what for many Americans was a rather upsetting presidential election, people are doing something about it, at least doing something that requires little time or involvement or inconvenience. All over college campuses and on subways in big cities, people are donning safety pins. It's a small simple gesture, but it's trending on social media, so it must be important.

In the wake of what has been a divisive political campaign season, many people are declaring themselves allies to America's marginalized groups. Donning a simple safety pin is claimed to be an act of unity and solidarity, a way to show that the pinned individual is "safe" for the teeming masses of the country's demeaned, deprecated, and criticized.

While the gesture may have begun as a display of kindness, it seems to have run rampant, becoming a way for the left to offer themselves a hearty pat on the back, a way to wear their self-righteousness on their sleeve... or at least on their lapel.

The kinds of marginalized people that make the acceptable list for safety-pin wearing slacktivists are women, blacks, latinos, muslims, and anyone who slaps a gender non-conforming label on themselves. But in their fervor to be helpful and inclusive and peaceful and sunshiny, they are forgetting a very important group of marginalized citizens.

I live in small town eastern North Carolina (I didn't vote for Trump, so don't come looking for me), in a county that has 25.3 percent of its citizens living in poverty. This is a rural county. Most people don't come to visit, it's just a necessary evil you drive through on the way to the beach. But if you had taken the time to pull off the highway, enjoy our scenic byways lined with cotton fields and hog farms, you would have seen quite a few Trump/Pence yard signs.

Earlier this fall, well before the election, my family took a weekend trip to the gorgeous North Carolina mountains. While winding through rural places where you can almost hear banjo music if you listen real hard, we saw even more Trump/Pence signs, some of them billboard-sized. They were planted in rocky unkempt yards next to rusty old pickups, plastic lawn furniture, and free-roaming poultry.

While the results from November 8th left a lot of people baffled and confused, if you take a good look at the county-by-county election map, you'll see an obvious trend. Places with large concentrations of population, i.e. large cities, almost unanimously voted for Hillary Clinton, very small pockets of blue when compared to the red that stretched across the country like a spreading bloodstain. Rural America showed up to vote for Donald Trump in uncharacteristic droves.

Progressive minds are pointing fingers from their pity parties and safe spaces, blaming Trump's surprising win on racism, ignorance, and closed-minded country bumpkins. You know, the rednecks who lack culture and education and intelligence? That's the only logical reason that someone so evil and despicable and inhumanly orange could possibly have won the presidency, right?

Wrong.

By and large, it wasn't racism that voted for Donald Trump. It wasn't hate, either. It was desperation.

If you have a few minutes on your next drive to the beach, pull off the highway and take the backroads. Drive through small town America. Take a look at the boarded up storefronts and the empty factories. Rural America is on its death bed.

Poverty isn't only an inner city problem. Those redneck country bumpkins that the left disdains actually suffer from higher rates of poverty than urban areas. They are also more likely to live in extreme poverty, to suffer from it longer, and to have limited access to services such as clinics and hospitals and social services and even soup kitchens. Maybe that's why rural Americans have a lower life expectancy and suffer from higher rates of depression.  While the scenery is sometimes nice, life in rural America is no metaphorical walk in the park. Life is hard and only getting harder. All while rural America has largely been forgotten.

In mid October, Donald Trump held a rally in Fletcher, North Carolina. Fletcher, NC isn't the kind of bustling political hub that tends to generate a lot of interest from presidential candidates. The town only has a population of 7,243 people. I've never been to Fletcher, but I hear they have at least one stop light. Thousands of people packed the agricultural center there to hear him speak. That's thousands of people, perhaps more people than actually live in Fletcher.

While the other side was busy framing the average rural voter as hateful, useless, or "Deplorable", Trump was reaching out to rural America. Trump spoke about jobs leaving the country and moving overseas, a subject that has been felt intensely by people in towns filled with boarded up buildings and brownfields.

For ill or for better, Trump seemed to reach a hand out to rural America and promise to help them.

While celebrities and politicians and college campuses have hugged and welcomed and fought for the rights of blacks and hispanics, women and muslims, and everyone on the LGBTQ spectrum, rural America has been actively marginalized by them. With large paintbrushes of progressive thought, rural Americans have been trivialized as hateful, illiterate, frightening, useless. Their votes shouldn't even count. They have been silenced, told repeatedly that they were nothing more than intolerant racists and misogynists.

And even now, after they sent their voices screaming in bright red from the voting booths, the self-satisfying safety pin wearing left, who claim tolerance and acceptance, are circulating petitions bent on upsetting the electoral college in their favor, ultimately silencing millions of desperate voting voices once and for all. For the good of the country, of course.

For good or for ill, millions of Americans voted for Trump. It was an urgent cry for change, a plea to be heard, an attempt to matter to the powers that be. Instead of trying to silence them, perhaps we should be listening. Maybe they aren't ignorant. Maybe they actually have something to say. Does your safety pin include them?

If you aren't a safe place for them, stop claiming to be a safe place for the marginalized. Because I contend there is no part of the population more criticized and disparaged than the backwoods, small town, hard-working citizens of this country. Their lives matter, too. Even if it isn't catchy or politically correct.

No one likes to be ignored. How many times do you slap a dog before that dog lunges at you with a vicious backlash? Unfortunately, this time the vicious backlash came in the form of Donald Trump.

Maybe we should have listened sooner.

Now stop being smug and condescending. It isn't helping. It isn't helping at all.

And take off that damned safety pin. You look ridiculous.

This is Armageddon - College Students Cry and Why We're All Doomed

The presidential election is finally over, for better or for worse. I'd like to say that I'm relieved because my life could use a lot fewer political advertisements. By Tuesday afternoon I had a stack of political mail fliers that would put the old Sears and Roebuck catalogue to shame. My youngest had memorized most of the television ads and could recite them with frightening accuracy, including facial expressions and voice inflection. She's a scary kid.

Our family tucked in tight on election night. I spent the night stress drinking and wallowing in despair. My son checked the kitchen to be certain we were well stocked with milk and bread. "This is a shitstorm, not a snowstorm!" my oldest daughter fussed as she rolled her eyes in typical teen exasperation.

My youngest daughter was the only one who felt anything akin to excitement. She had a coloring sheet of the United States so she could fill in all the electoral votes as the results were announced. At thirteen, she is currently disappointed in her lack of opportunities to use crayons, so her coloring sheet was a thrilling chance to put her long-neglected red and blue Crayolas to use.

My oldest made a phone call home after jumping from airplanes and doing other badass military stuff. "Do we have a new supreme overlord yet?" "No... not yet," I told him.

At 1:30 in the morning I finally said, "Enough is enough!" (referring to the election coverage, not my wine consumption) and sent everyone to bed. It was starting to look like my greatest fear was coming to fruition. One of these two candidates was actually going to win the election.

And win one of them did. I'm sorry for the spoiler if you haven't been keeping up with the final season of America... but Trump won. (I know... I was shocked, too.)

I checked the kitchen to make certain we had plenty of bread and milk on hand for the ensuing political apocalypse. I wasn't certain what Armageddon would actually look like, but I figured bread and milk might be somehow important. But surprisingly, Armageddon looked like a fairly normal day. People went to work, dropped the kids off at daycare, folded laundry. The world didn't stop turning after all.

That is... unless you are a college student.

Many universities across the country cancelled classes on Wednesday and offered counseling to help their students cope with the trauma of the election results. Exams were postponed or made optional. Not only that, but therapy dogs, playdough, and crayons were made available in attempts to make the precious snowflakes feel better. And Cornell University actually hosted a "cry-in" to mourn election results, complete with staff handing out tissues and hot chocolate.

I understand that the results of this election have produced a lot of feelings of misery, discouragement, and out-right fear for the future. I totally acknowledge the gloom that has settled over portions of the population like yesterday's misty weather (Totally appropriate Armageddon weather. Thanks, Mother Nature). I get that things may seem bleak and confusing and frightening. I'm confused, too. I don't know whether to be ridiculously happy that Clinton didn't win or angrily upset that Trump did. Things are complicated right now.

But the images of despondent young adults weeping hopelessly while curled on the floor in the fetal position is too much. These are our future leaders we're talking about here. Are they just going to roll over, weep, and take whatever the government decides to dish out? If so, there truly is no hope for us.

Here's the deal, weepy tantrum-throwing young people. You are too old to behave this way. You're basically adults now. You don't get to scream and cry when you don't get your way. That's what two year-olds do, not the future of America. If you don't like the country you're inheriting, you get up off the floor, wipe the snot off your face, put on your big-girl panties, or grow a pair, or whatever gender-inclusive euphemism you choose, and you do something about it.

Sure, Trump might be the most disgusting incarnation of evil you could imagine. But Hillary was no sunshiny cupcake either. Stop calling your neighbors nasty names and accusing them of being hateful bigots. Most people left the voting booth (regardless of which candidate's name they marked with an X) feeling a mixture of guilt and shame, like they had just been complicit in spreading some nasty venereal disease. Very few people emerged feeling full of hope and progress and optimism. Keep that in mind while you're screaming and ranting at friends and family and members of your community who may have voted differently than you.

Besides, if Trump does turn out to be the tyrant you fear him to be, we're all going to need to work together to make things right again. So stop alienating your potential allies. Most people are basically good human beings with good intentions doing the best with what they've got in the moment. Just because they disagree with you, doesn't make them thoroughly wicked or vile... and it doesn't mean they hate you, either.

Perhaps all of these tears and whining and unwillingness to cope are because of too many years of soccer and t-ball, where trophies were handed out for just showing up and no one kept score. Maybe that's why you feel like maybe you should get the president you want because you voted. You showed up. You participated. That's not how the real world works. People lose. Teams lose. Sometimes even when it seems like they deserved to win.

But you know what you do when you lose? Sure, you can go cry in the locker room or run off pouting or angrily take your ball and leave, but what does that accomplish? If you want to be successful, you have to work so hard that you ache. You have to be tired and sore and you have to get dirty. If you want things to change, you have to make them change.

If you don't like where this country is headed, then do something about it. And you don't even have to wait four years to vote for it. We don't have to be victims of our government, even the one we've elected. There's more to social change than stepping into a polling booth. That's just one aspect. I promise you aren't helpless babies, no matter how our institutions of higher learning may be treating you. The fastest way out of despair is action.

Trump is only one person, although a person who will soon be handed a large amount of power. If we are this afraid of the wrong person being president, that is a hint that maybe the president . . . any president . . .even if it's the person you voted for, has way too much power. No one should have that much capacity for destruction, oppression, or domination, even if they have a pen and a phone.

Do you know what your forebears did when faced with cruelty and heinous evil? Do you know what they did when they confronted tyranny? They stormed the beaches of Normandy. They wielded bayonets at Yorktown. They waded through rice paddies in Vietnam. They didn't waste time coloring mandalas or squishing playdough or crying inconsolably on the floor. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. You come from better stock.

I'm not saying it's time to take up literal arms, but even virtual arms or symbolic arms or metaphorical arms would be better than this pansy-ass whimpering wuss fest happening on campuses of higher learning. Your parents are paying too much for your education to waste it on skipping class to do coloring sheets, even if you are feeling despondent.

Remember, it is better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Even when it seems really, really dark.

And speaking of dark... it's okay to do your crying there. But let's show the world a braver face, shall we?

10 Easy Ways For Lazy People to Make the World a Better Place

It's just over a week until doomsday, or as more optimistic people call it "election day." The past few weeks have been a swarm of negative political ads and cyber screamfests as both candidates' camps attempt to convince me that the only hope we have as a country is for their opponent to lose. No messages of real hope or promise or optimism are being offered. Instead, we're hearing about the doom and death and destruction that will commence the minute the other guy (I sincerely mean "guy" in its gender neutral form) is elected.

Everyone is too busy trying to persuade the undecided, exasperated, and generally demoralized voter that their candidate is at least slightly less evil than their opponent. No one seems concerned with the fact that their own candidate is, in fact, evil themselves. The only chance for this country's survival, and perhaps the world's, is for everyone to not vote for the other candidate. South Park had it right, this election is basically average citizens deciding between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

Y'all... I'm frightened. I'm frightened that one of these people is actually going to win this election.

But there is hope for this country. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, which may be a tad bit uncharacteristic of me, but I don't think its too late. I think there are plenty of ways to make this world a better place, and none of them even involve voting for evil. Actually, none of them involve voting at all. In fact, they all require very little effort. There are real things even lazy people can do.

Maybe it doesn't take politicians and public policy to save the world. Maybe it takes average everyday people deciding to be decent human beings to save us in the end.

Here are a few easy ways to make this dirt ball we're spinning around on a better place. This isn't difficult, people. Let's try it. It certainly can't make things any worse than they already are.

This is a list for lazy people, feel free to try harder if you feel motivated to do so.

1. Hold the door. Just be nice and hold the door for the person rushing in behind you. Whether you're at the bank or the convenience store, church or the local porn shop, it doesn't matter. This may be the easiest way to be nice to our fellow human beings. Don't expect anything in return. Don't get angry if that rushing person doesn't acknowledge your act of kindness. Do it anyway. Bonus points if you smile and make eye contact.

2. Say Thank You. When someone holds the door for you, just give them a simple "thank you." It's what decent human beings do. Try to be at least superficially grateful. It's not going to kill you to show a little kindness and gratitude when someone else is doing the same. Bonus points if you smile and make eye contact.

3. Return your shopping cart. The road to Hell is paved with abandoned shopping carts. It isn't going to kill you to walk a few extra steps to push the cart into the cart return. Leaving it in the parking lot is just evil, and aren't we voting for enough of that? The thing has wheels so it's not like it takes a lot of physical effort. Leaving a stranded cart blocking the only available parking space within 150 yards of the door is not only rude, it's also pretty un-American.

4. Don't let your kids run wild.  I'm all for allowing kids to be kids, but standing on the table Irish dancing at Golden Corral or knocking down innocent shoppers while playing a one man game of hide-and-seek in the racks at Target is a little extreme.  Expecting kids to behave in socially appropriate ways in public is the first step in ensuring they become adults who behave in socially appropriate ways in public. I'm guessing some of our presidential candidates could have used a little more home training.

5. Look up from your cell phone. I mean, especially when you are ordering a meal or checking out at the grocery store or really anywhere that you are encountering a human being. I realize that your text messages and twitter accounts and funny cat memes are oh-so-very important, but just look up from your electronic tether and actually make eye contact with that human being who is serving you. They are offering you their time and attention (even if their employer is buying it for super cheap), the least you can do is offer them yours.  I promise that it is more than okay for you to treat human beings in the customer service field as actual people. Bonus points if you actually smile.

6. Use your turn signal. Maybe you're bopping along to your favorite song cranked up loud on your car stereo, too distracted to remember that there are other drivers around.  Or maybe you're busy with the cell phone call from your best friend while she complains about the hooker shoes So-And-So wore to the club last night. But it only takes a couple of extra synaptic sparks to hit that handy lever on your steering column and communicate to surrounding drivers and pedestrians your intentions to maneuver your 4,000 pound speeding metal death machine.  Most of us haven't mastered the art of telepathic communication, and body language is lost on us when it is masked behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.  So the turn signal is a super polite way to communicate with your fellow drivers and cut down on incidents of road rage.  To not signal before a turn or lane change is just plain rude. Besides, I bet the personal drivers of presidential candidates don't use turn signals. Do you want to be like a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich? I didn't think so.

7. Compliment someone. It's easy to be mean and confrontational when the people who are supposed to be role models are doing it, but we don't have to be like the presidential candidates. Tell someone how much you like their haircut, or the shoes their wearing, or how they aren't pestering you about who you're going to vote for in the election. It's okay to make it random, but make it sincere. Take a cue from Canada and say something nice.

8. Shop local. If you're feeling grumpy about corporate greed and how big business owns our politicians, do something about it. Skip the big box retailers and shop with the little guy. When you purchase goods and services from a local business, you aren't lining the pockets of multi-million dollar companies who care little about you but still spend your money to influence public policy in their favor. When you buy local, you're paying for someone's kid's braces or guitar lessons or new soccer cleats. It's a beautiful thing to invest in the lives of people you call neighbors.

9. Turn off the TV. Think of all the extra political ad-free time you'll have to do something productive (or not productive... I won't judge). The world needs people who can think for themselves. It's hard to be that kind of person when there is a constant stream of programming telling you what to think, who to be, and who to be mad at. Besides, what better way to stick it to the two evil candidates than to NOT watch all of the political ads they spent tons of money on just to call each other names and point fingers? We don't have to be their audience.

10. Give stuff away. I'm not talking about free college tuition or political favors, either. That stuff that's just laying around your house not being used, someone else could probably use it. Go through your closet, box up anything that you haven't used in over a year (especially your clothes), anything that doesn't have sentimental value, and just give it to someone. You can donate it to charity or give it to a friend, it doesn't matter. You'll feel freer without the clutter and someone else will be putting something that was just taking up space to good use.

Let's do this, people! A little bit more action like this from little people like you and me, and it won't matter who comes out on top on November 8.

At least that's what I have to keep telling myself to maintain some semblance of sanity.

Don't Mistake My Silence For Indifference

I tend to keep my political opinions to myself.  Don't mistake my silence for indifference.  I am a voter, and I make every effort to be a well-informed one.  But I don't wear my politics on my sleeve.

With all of the political discussions buzzing around the presidential election that looms on the horizon, there is plenty of snarkiness that I could toss out into the blogosphere.  But alas, this is one ( maybe the only one) subject I manage to keep my snarkiness (at least most of it) to myself.  I just don't enjoy political debate.

You see most people are too emotionally invested.  There's very little opportunity for calm, logical (emphasis on the logical) discourse.  I have friends with vastly different political views, and I can manage to maintain those friendships so long as I steer clear of most politics.  Besides, I can be a bit emotional myself, and therefore find that horrible, monstrous knot that forms in my stomach over all things stressful.  That monstrous knot is not (that could be punny if I let it) my friend.

And...just tossing this out there...as in most every other subject on the face of the planet, when it comes to politics, I find myself well outside the mainstream.  I'm fine with that, but it also means that I'm just not going to see eye-to-eye with most people (and that's not just because I'm short).

So I'm here.  Not sharing my snarkasm on this subject.  Just trying not to stress over all the hubbub that surrounds every single presidential election.  But probably stressing nonetheless.