Friday, October 11, 2013
I call bullshit.
Prettier, sexier, and more desirable does NOT equal happier.
I've been in a grumpier than average mood this week. (I'm blaming the gloomy weather, but whatever) And in times past I've resorted to dressing up to various degrees to make myself feel better. Maybe donning some pretty under garments or a new blouse. In a desperate situation I might even resort to make up and hair products. Or cool new shoes. Or fingernail polish. In a REALLY desperate situation it's new clothes and shoes.
But I'm not into that right now. Maybe it's because I've arrived at forty and forty is old (just ask my children)...okay maybe not "old", but I'm a middle-aged mother of four who has been married to the same man for almost 20 years. My kids love me. My man thinks I'm beautiful and desirable and worthy no matter how much time I spend on my outfit and hair.
The thing is...I don't really need to feel pretty, that's not my happiness goal...Instead of raising my mood by trying to feel pretty...I want raise it by feeling more alive. I want to suck the marrow out of this fabulous wondrous experience called life.
Life is the goal...not beauty.
My looks don't add to my value as a human being. Being alive is what makes me worthy, what makes me valuable. And I want more LIFE!
So instead of counting every calorie and obsessing about my body's perceived flaws, I will eat a cupcake. I mean I will REALLY eat a cupcake. I will savor every sweet morsel of sugary wonder. I will eat it slowly and without guilt.
Instead of picking out just the right pair of sexy shoes, I will go barefoot through dew-soaked grass and treasure the October chill.
Instead of perfectly manicured nails, I will treasure dirty fingernails, for it means I've dug my hands through velvety soil, that I've planted something lasting and beautiful.
Instead of layering on the makeup, I will rest my bare cheek on my daughter's soft brown hair as we read a book together before bedtime.
Instead of worrying that my hair is done "just right", I will wear it loose and feel the breeze tangle my locks. I will let it fall over the faces of my family as I kiss them each good-night.
Instead of gooping up my face with beauty treatments or cringing over every wrinkle, I will laugh uncontrollably with my children and etch a few more laugh lines into this face of mine.
Here's to more LIFE!
That's were the real beauty is anyway.