I Think I'll Just Be Happy Today

I woke up this morning thinking about all of the things I wanted to accomplish today.  After yesterday's mostly unproductive "snow day", it seemed like today should be a day of dynamic productivity.  I even made a list to help keep me on track.  (I mean REALLY on track since the list includes things like: "Drink 8 glasses of water."  and "Change your socks" but also bigger nastier things like "Clean out the refrigerator!"  *shudder*)

Then my cousin shared this picture on the interwebs:

Which made me think, "That seems like way more fun than drinking water and cleaning out the refrigerator!"

And while it is absolutely true that I can be happy in the midst of identifying mold-covered leftovers and searching for semi-matching socks, it might be a little harder, but doable.  Although "wasting time" doing things that tend make me feel happy, like reading books and taking naps and NOT cleaning out the fridge leave me feeling sluggish and guilty in ways that are not very happiness conducive.

It's very easy for me to think that once a arrive at the end of my rather lengthy to-do list, then and only then will I be happy...or have the time to seek happiness.  As a younger me I couldn't wait to get through high school, and then rush through college, and then get out into the real world, and then have children, and then buy a house, and then make a difference, and then feel like my life mattered, and then, and then, and then...  

But life isn't a race to the next big accomplishment (or little insignificant accomplishment like the 8 glasses of water on my to-do list).  Often we are so focused on the getting there, on keeping our eyes on the prize no matter what the prize may be (graduation or retirement or clean fridge) that we miss the little things along the way.  In keeping our eyes focused on what is ahead, we forget to look down at the flowers or up at the clouds or just noticing the things and people around us, maybe hiding just off the trail.  We can't always be running from our past and racing toward our future.  We can't put off happiness and personal fulfillment until we accomplish all of the things on our lifetime to-do list...because if we continue to wait, we'll just find ourselves adding to the list anyway.

This present moment is all we really have.  The past is gone, and we don't know how numbered the minutes and hours of our future might be.  If we want to be happy, we must learn to create our happiness right now, even if it must be in the midst of two week-old leftovers, mismatched socks, and plentiful trips to the bathroom to relieve yourself of your excess hydration.

Because when it comes right down to it...happiness is a choice.  So I think I'll just be happy today.

Check Your Attitude

I've figured out something about how I communicate with my children.  I figured it out pretty much by accident, but I'm really surprised that it took me this long.

I worked this evening.  I work in a customer service field, and anyone who works in a customer service field knows that it can pretty much suck on a regular basis.  I'm convinced that it is because people in general suck...but that might just be because I'm feeling grumpy and cynical at the moment.  We were told by the owner of my place of employment that there was too much negativity among the employees and that from now on we were going to be positive and happy.

It immediately made me feel more negative and less happy.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to be told what to do.  I'm also the kind of person who will do the exact opposite of what I'm told to do especially if you don't give me a convincing reason to do otherwise.  Call me a rebel.

I suppose there are probably plenty of ways to foster a positive attitude among employees...this one might even be effective for some...all I know is that it did nothing to improve my attitude.  In fact, the bottom just fell out from underneath my generally decent outlook on life.

But I am regularly guilty of attempting to motivate the spawn by doing just what this employer did to me.  I often tell my kidlets when their attitude is less than stellar to "check their attitude".  "You are not going to behave this way, Mister."  "We are all going to get along and be happy."

Yeah right, mom.

If my kids are anything like me (and believe in some ways they are entirely too much like me) that is an entirely ineffective approach to improving group morale.  In fact, I'm pretty much sure I'm just perpetually shooting myself in the foot.

So pointing out their bad attitude, just draws attention to the bad attitude, and as long as we are focusing on the bad attitude....well, we're just going to get more of it.  (I think I've heard this concept somewhere before...could it be the Law of Attraction? Why yes.  I think it could be.)

What's the answer?  I'm really not sure what the question is...but I know I'll be trying to stop telling the kids to check their attitudes.  Instead I'll try to find something more positive about the situation.  Wish me luck on that one, folks.  I'm pretty sure I'll need all the help I can get.

What DO You Want?

“To the person who does not know where he wants to go there is no favorable wind” ~Seneca

When you sit down to eat at a restaurant, how do you place your order?  Certainly you don’t  tell the waitress what you don’t want.  “I don’t want tea,” or “I don’t want my steak prepared well done,” or I don’t want to start with tomato bisque.”  At least I hope you are not such a frustrating customer.  Most normal people state what they do want from the menu and even the specifics of how they want it.  “I’ll have the strip steak medium rare,” or “I’d like my salad with the dressing on the side.”

Unfortunately most people aren’t quite so specific in defining their goals and dreams.  People tend to wander around with some vague idea of what they don’twant in life.  “I don’t want to be stuck in an unhappy marriage like my sister,” or “I don’t want to always be overweight,” or “I don’t like it when I yell at the kids.”

But simply knowing what you don’t want isn’t enough.  There are far too many possibilities wafting around out there in the ether of the universe to not be more specific.  We have to be more specific or there’s no telling what we’ll get.

The first step is when you find yourself complaining about the way things are going in an area of your life is to ask yourself what you do want.  It turns your mental focus onto something more positive.  If your waitress at a restaurant brought you tea, and you really don’t like tea, you wouldn’t just turn to her and fuss about the fact that you don’t like tea.  She would certainly be confused as to how she can make the situation better.  Hopefully, you would hand her the glass and ask for what you do want.  “Could you please bring me a glass of ice water with lemon.”  Now the waitress knows exactly what you want and can do everything within her power to get it for you.

Do the same thing in other areas of your life.  Instead of fussing about how much you hate not being able to pay your bills, clearly state what it is you do want.  “I want to have enough money to pay all of my bills and have enough left over to have some fun.”  Better yet, be even more specific.  “I want to have enough money to pay all of my bills and enough left over to put away $100 every month to save for a family vacation to Disney World.”  Now your brain knows exactly what you want and can begin to do everything within it’s power to get it for you.

Now write it down.  Writing down your specific goals and dreams will help you paint an even clearer picture of what you want.  By using pencil and paper to record the things you do want, those dreams and desires become a little more concrete.  Now you can hear yourself say them AND you can read what your own hand has written.  Remember that a written contract is far more binding than a spoken one.  In the same way, a written goal is far more real and powerful than one that is only spoken.

Don’t limit yourself.  If there’s something you want, don’t listen to that awful little voice inside that lists for you all the reasons you’ll never have it.  Instead find the voice that tells you all the logic behind why you should have it.  Open yourself up to infinite possibilities.

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them” ~Walt Disney

What Plantar Warts!

Oh Frabjous Day! My plantar warts have gone away!


Remember my post about my horribly hideous and cripplingly painful plantar warts? The three of them as large as dimes? The ones that hurt so badly they forced me to do jumping jacks on the side of my foot? The ones I had doused and frozen and medicated with every treatment and concoction known to mankind only to have the sadistic warts GROW? Remember them?



Gone!



Completely gone!

I’m literally doing a happy dance…on the bottoms of my feet…..pain free.
After more than 8 months of fretting and limping and favoring my left foot, I am now plantar wart-free without the help of conventional medicine.

What finally caused the warts to go the way of the dinosaur? You might be surprised at the answer.

I started visualizing them falling off. Each night before I went to sleep and each morning before I slipped out of bed I visualized all three of them shriveling up, turning black, and then painlessly falling off.

Over the course of about two weeks, they did just that. They turned brownish black, became far less sensitive, and then one day…POOF! I actually had been wearing a bandage over them in karate class because I didn’t want to gross people out. (They were black and hideous, afterall.) Last week during class, the bandage started to slip around on my foot and came loose on one end. Not wanting to miss the flow of class, I just reached down and snatched it off. A few minutes later, I inspected the bottom of my foot and…nothing. I’d already tossed the bandage so I’m not sure if the remnants were stuck to it or if maybe they fell off on the mats.

I really don’t know if it was my mind games that cured my persistent wart problem, but I do know that the mind is an incredibly powerful thing. There have been several studies suggesting that mental imagery increases athletic performance.

I’ve used visualization personally to aid in childbirth, gain confidence in martial arts, and improve my pull-up prowess.

The moral of the story? If there is a goal you are striving to achieve…go ahead and picture yourself already there. See yourself at your goal weight. See yourself finishing that half marathon. See yourself climb Mount Everest. Whatever it may be, even if it’s as seemingly insignificant as seeing yourself doing jumping jacks plantar wart-free.

Manifesting Blue Feathers

My friend Betty is always talking about the law of attraction. She is someone who is utterly passionate about our ability to manifest what we want in our lives, and she's more than willing to talk about it to anyone who will listen. She's definitely had a big influence in the way I think about things, money in particular, and I've seen real and tangible changes. (Thank you, thank you, thank you, Betty. I am a money magnet...) So recently, a mutual friend of ours, Brandon, mentioned to me over his morning cup of coffee at the cafe, that he was going to give Betty's ideas about manifestation a try. He admitted to being more than a bit skeptical, but he was going to give it a shot. He is manifesting a blue feather, and when he finds that blue feather....well, I think he said something about ruining a pair of pants.

It's interesting that he chose to manifest a blue feather. Apparently it's not that unique an idea. The manifestation of blue feathers seems to be a popular exercise. Betty posted this link about manifestation and blue feathers, and it got me to thinking. What if Brandon does find his blue feather and needs to change his drawers? It would be easy to write it off as coincidence. But what if 2 or 3 or 10 people manifest blue feathers? No one would be able to call that merely coincidence?

So I decided to join Brandon in his manifestation quest. I took a long minute to close my eyes and focus on what I want...a blue feather. I held the picture of it in my mind, every detail of it. Then I pictured it in my hand. I honestly had to fight my inner skeptic. It was easy to think how impossible it would be to find a blue feather. It's the middle of winter, and most of the blue-feathered birds have flown off to find some warmer climate. Even if I hunted around my bird feeder, I'm just not likely to find a blue feather. A brown or grey one maybe, but not blue. Then I decided it didn't matter. My blue feather could come from anywhere. I decided to stop trying to figure out how or where I was going to find it.

Yesterday evening, we bundled the kids up and headed to Rocky Mount. (Why? Because there's nothing to do here in Tarboro. ) On our drive into town, I explained the blue feather experiment to Keith. It got the kids really interested, Daniel in particular. He started asking a list of questions about how the law of attraction works, and about visualization and energies and postive thinking. What an awesome conversation to have with my children. They don't know how lucky they are.

So we hit the mall for dinner. We sent the children off to secure a big enough table while Keith and I hunted down Chinese food. As I crossed the food court, tray in hand, Daniel turned to beam at me. As I reached the table, he placed a tiny little blue feather into my palm!

Yep. A blue feather. It had come out of Hannah's down jacket, a jacket which sheds feathers constantly, much to my annoyance. But we've NEVER found a blue feather in the down from her jacket. They are always fluffy white ones.

So in less than five hours from the time I pictured my blue feather, it was lying in the palm of my hand. Pretty cool, huh? I almost didn't believe it. I actually tried to talk myself out of it (it was smaller than I expected. Wasn't it kind of greenish-blue?). But that just wouldn't be fair. That would be like asking the Universe for $1,000, but being disappointed when only $500 was laid in your lap. This is a blue feather, and there's no way around that.

So who else is with me on manifesting their very own blue feather? I mean, if we can do it with feathers, we can do it with ANYTHING!!!!