Friday, January 9, 2009

Charge of the Goddess Caffeina

Mucho thanks to Spanish Moss for this one. Since I'm reveling in my sexy career and embracing the role of preistess of Caffeina (thanks Green Flame!) I thought I'd post this. It's tres cool.

Listen to the words of the Great Mother, She who of old was called among men Savarin, Nescafe, Folgers Crystals and so many other names...

Whenever ye have need of wakefulness, at least once in the day, and better it be when the sun is rising, then ye shall assemble in your kitchens and adore the essence of Me who am Queen of all Beverages. There ye shall assemble, ye who are fain to gain awakening, yet have not won open eyes, to these I will teach things that are yet unknown. And ye shall be free from coherence; and as a sign that ye be truly free, ye shall be yawning in your rites; and ye shall read the morning paper, make bacon and eggs, and drive to work, all in My praise. For Mine is the ecstasy of the awakened, and Mine also is joy on earth; for My law is sleeplessness unto all beings.

Keep clean your mug; let naught float upon its surface and so turn your stomach. For Mine is the secret door which opens upon the land of coherence, and Mine is the cup of the Elixir of Life, and the Cauldron of Caffeine, which is the Holy Grail of Insomnia. I am the Gracious Goddess, who gives the gift of wakefulness unto the mind of man. Upon awakening, I give the knowledge of the caffeine high eternal, and beyond morning, I give peace, and warmth, and tolerance of those with whom ye must interact. Nor do I demand aught of Saccharin; for Behold! I am the Mother of all Stimulants, and My love is poured out into your mug.

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