Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What Olympic Curling Should Really Look Like

I'm stuck inside.  Eastern North Carolina is currently getting pounded by some historic winter weather.  It's so historic that we haven't seen this kind of crazy winter storm since...well...the last crazy winter storm we had (Which might have been as recent as two weeks ago).

The kids are pretty quiet because the fourth snowstorm of the season seems kind of uneventful.  They are subdued in a "been there, done that" sort of way.

Currently the television is tuned to coverage of the Winter Olympics.  That might be exciting...except they are currently covering curling, which is about as exciting as watching someone sweep their kitchen floor.  I've done that plenty of times, and I'm pretty skilled, too.  The sport might be a lot more fun to watch if the competitors had to dodge screaming children and random Lego creations or had to scrub muddy paw prints off the ice.

Maybe if they had to do it on no more than four hours of sleep with a baby on their hip while the toddler tried to climb on top of the refrigerator to get to the last box of girl scout cookies.

Or if they had to do it in a rush because their mother-in-law just phoned and she'll be here in less than 10 minutes.

Or there were crushed graham crackers stuck to the ice with honey and school glue that had been trampled through 27 times over.

Or if they could convince their teenage daughter to actually do it.

Maybe if they had to use a broom with a broken handle because their preteen son broke it while practicing karate.

And there should be chewing gum and dog hair stuck to the bristles of the broom.

Now THAT would be challenging.

Their uniforms should probably look more like pajama pants and shabby bathrobes.

Or shirts with snot stains and dried oatmeal.

Yeah.

I could probably medal in a sport like that.

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