Thursday, February 23, 2017

Way to Spread the Hate - On The Walking Dead's 'Racist' T-Shirt

Gratuitous picture of Daryl. Because... Daryl.
Image Source: Casey Florig
It's super easy to offend people these days. In fact, trying not to offend is like tiptoeing barefooted in the dark across a playroom floor strewn with Legos and hot wheels and maybe even rusty razor blades (I don't know what children play with these days).

I am a Walking Dead fan. This will likely offend someone. Surprising, right? That a fantasy show with mediocre acting and unrealistic survival scenarios would actually offend anyone?

But The Walking Dead is so obviously racist.

Or at least its merchandise is.

British retailer, Primark, has pulled a Walking Dead t-shirt from its store shelves because shopper, Ian Lucraft complained. The shirt in question featured Negan's bloody baseball bat, affectionately named Lucille, and the words "Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe."

Image Source: Twitter

Hold on to your pearls, Nancy!

"We were shocked when we came face to face with a new t-shirt with a racially explicit graphic and text," Lucraft told a reporter. "It was fantastically offensive and I can only assume that no one in the process of ordering it knew what they were doing or were aware of its subliminal messages."

Um... Mr. Lucraft, it is quite impossible for a message to be both "explicit" AND "subliminal". You might not realize that is an oxymoron because you are an actual moron. But keep misusing big words in attempts to look intelligent. It helps those who are weed out the posers.

Lucraft's wife, Gwen, added, "If I were black and were faced by a wearer, I would know just where I stood."

Actually, your statements are rather racist, Gwen. You shouldn't presume to know what a black person would think. Your white privilege is showing. Might want to keep that in check.

But I kinda get it. If faced with a wearer of that shirt, I would know exactly where I stood, too... I would, in fact, be standing directly in front of a Walking Dead fan.

Actually, The Walking Dead may be one of the least racist shows on the air. One of the baddest, most kick-ass characters is actually a black female (You rock, Michonne! I love you!).

Sure the main character is an annoying Southern cisgender white man, but nobody really likes him. We all wish Rick had been eaten 5 seasons ago.

And of course, the second most badass character is also a cisgender, white, Southern dude complete with a great white trash backstory... but I'm beginning to think Daryl might actually be gay. I've caught him sending a few loving looks Rick's way. It is at the very least an incredibly intense bromance.

And Lucille wasn't even covered in the blood of a black person. That's the blood of an asian and a white man... but I know its hard to tell since we all bleed the same shade of red. Which really might be the moral of the story here, but some people are too busy being offended to actually see it.

So one man in England is offended by a t-shirt with four little words...of a children's rhyme...recited by an egomaniacal psychopath...on a television show...about the zombie apocalypse?

What kind of world are we living in?

But thanks there, British dude seeking 15 minutes of fame. Everyone with internet access now knows the racist version of the rhyme, so it's certain to be making new rounds on playgrounds everywhere. Way to spread the hate.

So of course we'll all have to ban it. And where does that leave my family? How will we decide who gets the coveted shotgun seat when we go to the grocery store?

Now we'll have to resort to Rock/Paper/Scissors. And we all know its only a matter of time until someone is offended by that one, too.

You've completely complicated my life, you pompous, self-serving, easily offended, English twat waffle!

Wait! Is "twat waffle" offensive? I think I might have stepped on a razor blade.

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